Personal

What’s Your Thing?

I love podcasts, and I tuned in to Crafty Ass Female’s episode, “What’s My Thing” Revisited – their retake on one of their earlier episodes. I’ve been struggling for a while with Imposter Syndrome (see previous post: You Have to be an Imposter to have the Syndrome, Right?) and this really opened my eyes a lot.

My thing is varied, and they all come together to make one whole.

I am a high school teacher – and I adore my job. It’s hard and difficult and there’s days I don’t want to do it, but overall, I can’t imagine doing anything else.

I am a knitter, and that has grown into a knitwear designer. I am so blessed that I have had such a positive reaction so far, and I hope this journey continues to grow.

I am a youth worker. I work with youth at my church, at my school, and I want to bless and grow youth through Wattle&Wool as well.

I really truly think it is all three of these things that collect and combine into my “thing”, and I couldn’t be prouder.

I sometimes worry that I’m too one-sided, or boring, but I then remember the other facets to who I am and I feel encouraged again – I’m sarcastic, I’m caring, I’m quick to judge but open to learn, I’m young and a knitter and I have room for influence.

What’s your thing?

Personal

You have to be an Imposter to have the Syndrome, Right?

Dissent knit 5.5.19
Self-promotion: Knitting my Dissent Cardigan, no matter where I am!

Okay, so I just figured out that I have a case of imposter syndrome. I’ve been seeing posts and emails about this where people I respect and value speak their truth into how they overcome this, or why it shouldn’t matter.

I have second guessed myself so much – some of the reasons why I haven’t posted recently is because I believed that I didn’t have a lot to say, that no one would turn up for me, that I don’t have enough to offer, all that. 

You know what? It’s true!

I don’t have a lot to offer just yet – but I’m just starting, and no one else did at my level either.

I don’t have a lot to say just yet – because I haven’t allowed myself the space to speak.

No one is turning up for me? I have already made some incredible friends through Instagram, through sharing my work, through championing and supporting others. And even if they weren’t there, why should that matter? I need to turn up for myself.

I couldn’t even believe that I had imposter syndrome, because I couldn’t give myself enough grace to believe that I can do what I do.

I need to allow myself to champion myself better – to show up for myself, and promote myself.

In that vein of thought: I’ve just written 3 new designs (the first one, Auseklis, coming out in September 2019!), I’m about to swatch for the fourth, and the freedom I thought would come with writing down my patterns has only grown into the press of further designs rattling in my brain, demanding space and action.

I give myself, and yourself, permission to leave the doubts behind you!

What has been holding you back?